Rekindling Creativity: Nostalgia, Doubt, and the Unexpected
Isn't it ironic how passion and excitement can quickly lead us to stall? We find ourselves hesitating, overthinking and before you know it, you’re just… stuck.
As long as you have dreams and ideas, inaction is a force you will constantly have to reckon with. There’s something quite tempting about it. It subtly pulls you in, creating a sense of safety and protection from the uncomfortable feelings that can arise when we’ve been gifted with a thought that we can turn into something meaningful for ourselves.
The cycle of shifting from excitement to stagnation is one that I’m familiar with. I could even say I’ve grown to be acquainted with it. It feels like a default setting where you can quickly and easily retreat back into a place of comfort. But that’s all an illusion.
In the moment, creating space from materialising ideas can feel like the safest thing to do, but the desire to create is an energy that will continue to exist within you, and the lack of expressing it can result in feelings of restlessness and irritability. Things might begin to feel stifling, and that wholesome, fulfilling and juicy feeling of life starts to dry up.
From my experience, I've noticed that this state of being begins to trickle into other areas. I begin to grow an aversion to routine and the daily rituals that I enjoy and keep me in the groove of things. Because of this, it naturally becomes easier to grow detached and weary, which only aggravates the cycle of building up pent up energy. This creates an environment which is ideal for perfectionism, doubt and overthinking to grow. If left unchecked, passion and fire begin to fizzle out and burn into distant memories.
Thankfully, it's never too late to reignite that flame. There is always another day and way to feel that spark again, and leaning into the feelings of nostalgia is a great starting point. I ruminate over the concept of time a lot, and I've realised that even when applied to the idea of self, time still remains a construct. This is because our past selves hold experiences, memories and even wisdom that our present selves can utilise to propel us into the future.
During periods of blockages, go down memory lane and explore all of the meaningful experiences and accomplishments you’ve crafted for yourself. This is the direct evidence that you are capable of working through different forms of constraints, because in the past you most likely experienced these occurrences, but still managed to push through it. You are your own case study.
I can’t fully explain why or how nostalgia can be a propelling force, but I know that looking back helps me move forward. Even while writing this very post, I had to lean into nostalgia, shuffling through old ideas, watching videos I’ve made before and appreciating all the things I’ve put my mind to and created. It’s all proof that I’ve done it before. Sometimes doubt and perfectionism stems from inadequacy - whether through an internal feeling of not being good enough or viewing resources as insufficient. Whilst these points can be valid, they don’t have to be the end all or be all.
I revisited a video diary that I worked on a while ago. It was centred on ‘Unconditional Acceptance’ in regards to relating with others - a topic that was and still is dear to my heart, but another special aspect about it was how it was my first go at colliding two worlds - video and writing. Crafting and watching the page build up word by word was a gratifying process, but translating the text into something visual felt like being at a roadblock. There was a mismatch between what I could envision and what was accessible for me to actually do. Here, I could’ve raised the white flag, giving into the frustration - but I didn’t. Instead I improvised, shooting the BTS of a ‘mini photoshoot’ and inserting clips that were pretty to me. Was it perfect? Not even. But what I had was the passion to create from the heart and extend a piece of it to whoever found it.
Nostalgia reminds you of the vision when the image starts to get blurry. Looking back helps clean the lens because it reminds you of the fire and spark that you might not currently feel in its full glory, but it is still there, waiting to be expressed. And the process of getting there doesn't have to be complicated. Maybe all we need to do is tap back into that feeling of being free and lighthearted - that same feeling that can be associated with how young kids can shamelessly dream and be in communion with their imagination. Doubt becomes stifling when we extend too much attention towards the details and getting things ‘right’ all the time. Sometimes we need to remember that ideas are almost their own type of entity - when materialising them, they are bound to play out in ways that might not match the exact image in your mind. Uncertainty is part of the process. But being devoted to keep going despite that, is what contributes to bringing the overall vision to life. Our relationship with uncertainty doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Instead we can view it as intriguing, exciting and simply part of the process.
“Artists must also reckon with the uncanny feeling that by the time we’ve finished a new work, we’ve often ended up creating something different from what we set out to do. This feeling of surprise, of the unexpected, can delight or disappoint us.
The creative process is an inexplicable, inspired, crystallizing place where the artist becomes an audience to the work, and almost doesn’t know where it came from.”
Jerry Saltz, How To Be an Artist 
